Yannick’s Coaching Lab features guest coaches from a broad variety of approaches, who showcase how they work as part of a live 45min coaching session, followed by reflections and Q&A with the audience.
Curious to know what this session was like? Have a peek at the Lab Report below or consider VIP membership to access the full recording of this and many more exciting sessions.
Yannick’s Coaching Lab #73 — David Drake
Key Outcomes
David Drake conducted a second narrative coaching session with client, focusing on her journey of individuation and releasing responsibility patterns inherited from her mother. The session used spatial and somatic interventions—including a symbolic weight belt removal—to help client embody a lighter way of being and practice setting boundaries. The coaching helped client see the narrative behind her identity and explore how to move from patterns of carrying excessive responsibility to choosing differently with more self-compassion and playfulness.
Session Structure & Methodology
- Format: 45-minute live coaching session followed by reflections with client present and Q&A with observers
- Approach: David used spatial metaphors (threshold between past/mother behind, garden/freedom ahead) to structure the individuation work
- Somatic focus: Invited client to notice heaviness in her pelvis/sacrum and expansion in her chest when claiming responsibility for herself
- Key intervention: Unbuckling an imagined weight belt around her waist and placing it on the floor, then telling her mother “this is not for me to carry anymore”
Core Themes Explored
Responsibility & Cultural Context
- Client identified tiredness from carrying too much while navigating multiple transitions (moving house, PhD residency, supporting her mother financially)
- Recognized pattern: “Responsibility is more important than play” and desire to shift this hierarchy
- Cultural dimension: Latin American expectation that children care for aging parents creates tension with client’s desire for autonomy
- David noted early-life patterns replicate familiar conditions: “many things go on all at once, that then tire you. Because that’s the state you recognize”
Safety, Love & Boundaries
David’s invitation: “Say no as often as possible” this week, including sending back restaurant orders as practice for harder conversations
David offered teaching: **”Children have two primary aims in life, safety and love”**—client preserved both by being responsible for others
Breakthrough moment: Client practiced saying “I am not available right now” without justification
Embodiment & Movement
- Spontaneous gesture of pushing away resonated with releasing her mother’s burden
- Final gesture toward mother: **”I love you, but I love myself too and I respect myself too”**—accompanied by a pushing motion
- Client noted her endometriosis and pelvic symptoms may be connected to this stored energy
Coaching Practices Highlighted
Narrative Coaching Model (Four Phases + Spiral)
David outlined his framework based on anthropological rites of passage:
- Situate (past, outer world): Who is the client? What story are they bringing?
- Search (past/present, inner world): What needs attention? What value is at risk?
- Shift (present/future, inner world): Practice new ways of being in safe spaces
- Sustain (future, outer world): What will they do differently when they leave?
- Spiral: Scale of change—from baby steps to wholesale transformation
Principles Shared in Reflection
- “Exquisite noticer”: David prioritizes observation over technique—watching body language, tone, what clients pay attention to (e.g., client looking at the garden)
- Invitational rhetoric: Everything offered is an invitation clients can reject, redirect, or change—no attachment to outcomes
- Zones of proximal development: Provide just enough scaffolding for clients to take steps they can’t yet make alone
- Externalization: Use space, objects, gestures, body parts to help clients see themselves from outside and access what the mind protects
- Fewer words, more ownership: Cut requests/statements in half repeatedly until clients own 4-5 words they truly believe
- Composting stories: Don’t throw away old narratives—repurpose their energy to grow something new for yourself
Practical Coaching Insights
- Trust over technique: David emphasized clients must ultimately trust themselves—coaching models that trust
- Session significance: Coaches often put too much weight on sessions—most learning happens through doing things differently afterward
- Flexible formats: David sells hours, not packages—sessions range from 10-minute WhatsApp check-ins to full-day intensives or dinner conversations
- No 60-minute rule: The standard hour is **”random, for practitioner convenience, not evidence-based”**—tailor length to client needs
- Practice spaces matter: Clients need safe places to experiment with new behaviors before high-stakes situations
- Start small: Don’t tackle the hardest problem first—pick simple wins to build confidence
Ethical & Power Dynamics Discussion
Observers raised questions about power, cultural sensitivity, and ICF alignment:
- Leading vs. inviting: David’s interventions were quite directive (suggesting spatial work, offering interpretations about safety/love)
- Cultural respect: Client felt David honored her Latin American culture and never experienced power imbalance despite age/race/gender differences
- Contracting concerns: Flexible session lengths and informal settings (dinners, walks) may blur professional boundaries per ICF standards
- Client autonomy: Risk that bold interpretations (e.g., linking mother’s story to current fatigue) could override client’s own meaning-making
- Observed sessions: Clients typically forget the audience and remain authentic, though ethical questions arise when unexpected vulnerability emerges publicly
Client’s Reflections
- Felt pure trust with David and the space Yannick created—no power dynamics experienced
- Recognized this is **”a journey, not just this session”**—ongoing work since their first meeting
- Appreciated David’s gentleness given her tiredness and the value of going slow with kindness
- Saw parallels to family constellation work but applied in a coaching context
- Acknowledged fighter spirit and excitement about continuing to change narratives
David’s Background & Resources
- No formal coaching training—taught coaching for 30 years, primary skill is being an “exquisite noticer”
- Influenced by Vygotsky’s zones of proximal development, narrative therapy, and systemic work
- Author of foundational text Narrative Coaching
- Co-founder of Moment Institute with AI-based practice platform
- Emphasis: “Stop worrying about coaching so much. Free yourself to be more of yourself.”