How to live without regrets

It pains me when people regret their life choices.

I see a fair share of coaching clients who come see me at a time when they pause for a bit and finally have some space to reflect. And often it’s somewhat of an imposed pause: the kids have left the nest, a partnership dissolved, got made redundant, covid lockdown was a busy period too, for example.

It is only when we dip our head above water to take a few deep breaths that we realize that the past X number of time we’ve been on autopilot, just going with the flow, or simply swept away by the demands of life and work.

it is at that time that many people tune into that every niggling feeling that they may have on some level noticed, but that was never strong enough to be prioritized and given some focused attention. And it is at this point that a level of regret surfaces about the way they’ve been living their live, or navigating their career. Oh the precious time that’s been wasted living out of authenticity, or misaligned to our values. On some level we’ve all been there…

My client last night realized during our session that each day he’s not making a decision is a day that he’s choosing not to take action. Up until now that was an unconscious choice. Now it is conscious. And this awareness released an energy that motivated him to take action and take concrete steps to figure out a way forward – so that he wouldn’t regret not taking action sooner.

To me, this is the way not to have regrets down the line: Pausing regularly to take a step back and reflect on who you are becoming and what your choices are in life and work.

It’s perfectly fine to choose to drift along the currents of life, not asserting energy into any specific direction. It’s also perfectly fine to decide to focus on a specific project and work towards it with all your energy. I don’t think there’s a correct way to live. I believe everybody gets to choose how to spend their time.

What I wish for people is that this is a conscious choice, that they’re aware of the consequences of their actions (or lack of action), to the best of their ability, so that they can own their choices (including the choice not to choose right now) and live without regrets later on.

After all, if you’re taking the time to think and feel things through, then you can be confident that you’ve made the best choice at the time.

It doesn’t mean everything’s going to work out for you if you’re seeing a coach or therapist regularly, or you meditate every morning. But it helps you to own your choices, and paired with a little self-compassion, I think that’s as close as we can get to living life without regrets.

So step out of life every now and then, and be kind to yourself. That’s my invitation to you today.

With Love

Yannick


New Content: Pain vs. Gain: How to best market your coaching? TaC 74

The conversation explores the question of whether to lead with problems or results when selling coaching services. Yannick and Siawash discuss the effectiveness of selling a solution to a problem and the alignment with positive psychology. They also explore the power of leading with a vision and inspiring clients to move towards their desired outcomes. The conversation delves into the different approaches of being a painkiller or a vitamin, and the importance of choosing the type of clients and work that align with one’s values. The hosts also discuss the five stages of awareness and how to create content for each stage. The conversation concludes by emphasizing the importance of finding a marketing frequency that works for each coach.

Takeaways

  • Selling a solution to a problem can be effective, but it may not align with positive psychology and the desire to inspire clients towards their dreams and aspirations.
  • Leading with a vision and focusing on the desired outcome can be more powerful and impactful in the long run.
  • There is no one right way to sell coaching services, and it depends on the type of clients and work that align with one’s values and goals.
  • Understanding the five stages of awareness (unaware, problem aware, solution aware, product aware, and most aware) can help in creating targeted marketing content for different stages of the customer journey.
  • Finding a marketing frequency that works for each individual is important, and it is not necessary to constantly create new content but rather focus on creating valuable and impactful content.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Question

01:09 Selling with Problem Focus

02:07 Positive Psychology and Vision Focus

03:04 Tapping into Positive Experiences

04:28 Combining Problem and Vision Focus

05:03 Being the Painkiller or the Vitamin

06:29 Choosing the Type of Clients and Work

07:39 Different Approaches for Different Coaches

08:13 Focusing on the Desired Outcome

09:46 Leading with Vision and Meaning

11:24 Long-Term Impact and Lifelong Work

13:09 The Five Stages of Awareness

15:18 Creating Content for Different Stages

20:40 Inviting People to Take the Journey

25:02 Choosing the Frequency of Marketing