“In order to succeed I need to be more [________], and less [____________].”
Sound familiar?
In some form or other, I hear this statement often. Just today I’ve heard it twice already from clients. I gotta be more organised, less “ADHD”, more social, less ethical, more bold, less direct – you name it!
The problem is that it’s quite a process to change your ways, and some transitions may take years of work, or they may never conclude.
So it seems to me that there are two general pathways here: 1) to develop or become the person that has the attributes to succeed (however you define success, that is), or 2) to choose a path to success that is aligned with who you already are.
The latter you might refer to as “the path of least resistance”, because you don’t have to change who you are. It’s definitely worth thinking about, and in the midst of a plethora of advice on how to master [___________], it can be incredibly liberating to consider that there may be a way that is more aligned with what you’re bringing to the table.
For example, there are a million different ways to build a business. Arguably, some are more effective than others. But generally, the most effective way to build a business is to do it in a way that feels right, in a way where you don’t have to force yourself to do things each and every day. Because, let’s face it, you can only force yourself to do things for so long before you burn out.
Part of me always admired people who find somebody’s blueprint, and then follow it to the letter, regardless of whether that’s aligned with what they believe in. “If it works, it works”. I couldn’t do that for long, and it’s rare that it works (for long), in my experience.
It’s much more effective to do something that might be less effective, but do it authentically, with passion, owning the process, and bringing your whole self to it.
“What would it be like to lean into your strengths, your values, into the person you are, and the skills that you are naturally bringing to the table?”
Might there be another path? One that you can own, that feels more authentic?
What part of the story you’re telling yourself might be part of the resistance? Is that something you can challenge, drop or re-author?
Questions worth thinking about!
And hey, nobody’s saying that it’s a path of “no resistance”. It can only be smooth sailing once you’ve finished setting the sail, or building the boat, or recruiting the team. In reality there’s usually some part of the journey that you won’t be looking forward to, and not everything can be outsourced to someone who’d love that part of the work (especially as a solopreneur, at the start of a business, or in a small team). And I do believe that some of these things we just have to push through, and that the act of pushing through obstacles can be an incredibly rewarding and meaningful experience – certainly the stuff of stories worth telling.
But it’s always worth inquiring whether we can circumvent part of the resistance, to make for a more enjoyable and ultimately better-performing journey!
Curious to hear what you think about this…
With Love
Yannick
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Next event: Live coaching demo – Moving beyond trauma with Kate Brassington
Kate is an awesome person! I’m honoured I got to accompany/train her as she found her way into the coaching profession a good number of years ago, and since then she’s been going from strength to strength. She’s found her grounding in the trauma-informed space, and as an ex-military woman turned positive psychology coach, she brings a special quality to her coaching space. I can’t wait to see her work with a client and tune into the way she does things, and I hope you can join us!
Access free for our members, or you can get an individual ticket here.
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New content: Coaching vs. Therapy in the context of psychedelics
After my presentation on the intersection of coaching and psychedelics at this year’s IPPA World Congress on Positive Psychology was well received (recording to follow, watch this space!), and our white paper about to be submitted for publication, we’re also back with another episode (#16) of our podcast Talking about Coaching and Psychedelics. Leading up to its publication on the 20th August, we’ve got a chunky snippet for you as the first in a series of five, during which ICF MCC and psychedelic coach Fernando Hettiyadura talks about his take on the difference between coaching and therapy in the context of working with psychedelics.
If you don’t want to miss the release of the full episode, you can sign up to our C&P mailing list and we’ll drop you a quick note when it’s ready.
